now is the time to buy in spain – an estate agents view

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This topic contains 76 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Anonymous Anonymous 8 years ago.

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  • #54208
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    “In this moment we can say that the bad part of the market is over, we see the prices rising. Now we are believing that this is therefore the perfect moment to invest. We have many buyers about to make deposits for this development so my advise is to move quickly. If you want a good lawyer we can recommend this for you. He is not brightest lawyer available but will not cause problem in purchase, he used to own paella restaurant.

    I agree other areas may still see price falls. But you have to look carefully at the area to understand why this area is especial. Here we have schools, shops and good connections to motorway. The area is still growing, for these reason we believe this area will show good growth. Also rental potential is very good in this area, you will find you can let your property for 100% of available time, guarantee. This will pay your mortgage and give a good profit also. We can guarantee all of this because we are healthy company here for long term. We need money by 6pm”

  • #85482
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    “I recommend this development for your investment senor. Be careful not to invest in lower quality developments, this area is the only one in the region that is growing in value, this is guarantee. If you are interest, we can make especial deal for purchase of 2 or more units. Remember next month the price have to increase €5000, so in this moment we are advise our client to move quickly or face disappointment. Do not worry about illegal build problem, all the paperwork here is guarantee by local mayor. Anyway, we will recommend to you a good lawyer. Don’t worry about it. “

  • #85483
    Profile photo of GJ
    GJ
    Participant

    @kingy wrote:

    “I recommend this development for your investment senor. Be careful not to invest in lower quality developments, this area is the only one in the region that is growing in value, this is guarantee. If you are interest, we can make especial deal for purchase of 2 or more units. Remember next month the price have to increase €5000, so in this moment we are advise our client to move quickly or face disappointment. Do not worry about illegal build problem, all the paperwork here is guarantee by local mayor. Anyway, we will recommend to you a good lawyer. Don’t worry about it. “

    OK I give up who’s peddling this rubbish Kingy?

  • #85484
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    “This development is so special, and to assure you of its complete legality, the local Mayor and the head of Town Planning have ‘bought’ three penthouses each”.

  • #85485
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant
    charlie wrote:
    “This development is so special, and to assure you of its complete legality, the local Mayor and the head of Town Planning have ‘bought’ three penthouses each”.

    What with the infamous “Brown Envelope”?

  • #85486
    Profile photo of katy
    katy
    Spectator

    Do you think recent events in Spain could add some words to the English dictionary? We already have Spanish Fly and Spanish practices. Maybe we will have a new envelope size…inbetween A4 and A5 and specially deisigned to stuff easily into your back pocket, named Spanish Brown. Then there could be a saying a Spanish Guarantee meaning something worthless. Sure there are many more but the Spanish wine is stunting my thought process 🙂

  • #85487
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    @135yearswaiting wrote:

    What with the infamous “Brown Envelope”?

    No, the penthouses are in lieu of the ‘Spanish Browns’. Apparently it was quite common for a developer to offer a ‘gift’ of one or more choice appts. in exchange for that little bit of help to get planning through. Easier for the developer than finding the dosh, could spread the cost of this over all the other appts., and for those on the receiving end a much more discreet situation. Theirs to sell on whenever they want, and a plausible explaination where the sale money came from – from the money laundering point of view.

    Katy, I have a feeling that ‘a Spanish Brown’ could well end up being synonemous with the word ‘bribe’.

  • #85488
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Very funny! 😆 (even though I know you are all serious 😉 )

    Trouble is…it’s historically, sooo true

  • #85489
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    listen, I am serious, these apartments are in the top quality level for the whole of spain. We have many interested parties, some looking to buy even several units. So I not pressurise you, I only say I am recommended that you think to give us your deposit soon. I will even give you a receipt. I can see you like this development, so I can hold for a few more days. But don’t wait too long. If I can sell 2 apartments this year I get a ‘spanish brown’ envelope.

    In this moment there are many lies about spain. They are saying the market has too many properties, but you must not believe them, why do we have homeless people in Madrid if this is true ?. They are saying prices are falling, but we are now seeing property prices rising by 1% in each month. Prices are rising even faster in the especial developments where we have good schools and shopping. Just speak to a good estate agent and they will tell you the truth. Do not listen to the lies that my company is going bankrupt, in fact we are building more properties than ever before to meet the growing demand. Even the mayor, his planning oficer and the finance chief have bought in this development. This is my guarantee to you. Now I need your money, please think seriously. This offer cannot last forever. Claire, Charlie – you must buy one.

  • #85490
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    😀 reading this Im glad Im wearing pampers !!!

  • #85491
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    @kingy wrote:

    Claire, Charlie – you must buy one.

    Unfortunately Kingy, both Claire and myself have both been there, done that – even had the T-shirt, but was such poor quality it got destroyed in the wash.
    They couldn’t even get that right. 🙁


    “They are saying the market has too many properties, but you must not believe them, why do we have homeless people in Madrid if this is true ?”.

    Because even the homeless don’t want them?

  • #85492
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    I’ve just remembered our agent’s mantra:

    “This development, with it’s location/private golf facilities, is unique so you better act quickly because once it’s gone, it’s gone”.

    The trouble was it never ended up being there in the first place. Due to the building licence being revoked they didn’t build a brick. :roll:

    And guess what….the other thing that’s ‘gone’ is the agent.
    To hell I hope.

  • #85494
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    “If you want a good lawyer we can recommend this for you. He is not brightest lawyer available but will not cause problem in purchase, he used to own paella restaurant”.

    Love it !! 😛

  • #85497
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Is this a joke?

    Do the Spanish have the equivalent of an April Fools Day?

  • #85498
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    No joke…it’s just how it is…verbatum! 😆

  • #85499
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant
    fran wrote:
    Is this a joke?

    Do the Spanish have the equivalent of an April Fools Day?

    Nearest is December 28th the Day of the Innocents, think it is elated to Herod having all the children under 2 years of age killed.

    There have been loads of innocents lead to the slaughter of buying a Spanish property , do not think there have been any deaths yet, but many must have been tempted to end their lives rather than face financial ruin. Most of them were I,nnocents.

  • #85500
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    I make an especial deal with senor stucklin for this forum only, a 5% discount, it is incredible. It is development inside national park (don’t worry, plannings was granted by local mayor and guaranteed by finance manager)

    We will have a championship golfing course nearby with free lifetime membership for first clients. In saying these guarantees I assure you of the quality of this unique development. I can’t give written information of golf course yet, it on desk of approval manager in local council, but he also work for builder so we are having no need to worry.

  • #85501
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Wow!! It’s a” no brainer”. I’ll take three. I can flip two and that will more than pay for the third, which I can let out. You did say “Guaranteed rental income all year”, didn’t you Kingy?

    I also read on another forum that the poster was talking to someone connected to Real Estate and they said that La Reserva de Marbella would be granted legal status probably by September. That must be true too?? 😕

  • #85503
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Oh dear, now I am worried! A development inside a national park – the ecologists are going to denounce that one straight away!

    Even if the local planning officer says ok, go ahead, you can have the permissions, whose to say that some higher authority wont say, no later on and revoke everything, like the Junta de Andalucia are doing in a lot of places?

    Mmmm! I would have to pass on this “especial deal”.

  • #85504
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    @Claire wrote:

    Wow!! It’s a” no brainer”. I’ll take three. I can flip two and that will more than pay for the third, which I can let out. You did say “Guaranteed rental income all year”, didn’t you Kingy?

    Si si senorita, the rental income is a gurarantee. There is no problem in this development for rentings due to the unique location. The story is different for the low quality scandinavian development 300 metre away, that is in completely different location. Here we have many good quality agent who can guarantee 100% letting for you, he is a personal friend. It is an incredible.

  • #85505
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Can you recommend me a Lawyer?

    (I’ve gotta stop now…it’s bringing back bad memories 😉 )

  • #85507
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    si senorita, the lawyer is a close friend and will not cause any problemos with costly (and unnecessary) checks for build legality, etc. Here eveything is simple now we have approval of the local mayor. If you have any subsequent legal problemos we cannot make guarantee as lawyer are (as you would say) ‘ a law unto themselves’. However, the same thing is true for judge. It even itself out somehow. All law will protect buyer, here in spain law is on side of small man.

    My office open until 7 pm for deposit, Like i said, it is an incredible.

  • #85508
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    😆
    Damn ! I missed the 7pm deadline 😥

    I’m outta here! I need a large vino to get my sanity back. 😉

  • #85509
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    kingy

    you really are to good to be true. What a fantastic bargain, and as you say, if the local Mayor says it’s ok, then why do we need to bother with lawyers? I would like 5 straight away. Flip or rent 40 weeks a year, how can we go wrong?. I just wish they were further from the coast, and much higher buildings. More like Benidorm would be great. All i need to do is sell my house and and get all my freinds and relatives to give me all their life savings (why on earth wouldn’t they?) so that i can get the deposits paid asap, before they are all snapped up. I realise there is a massive demand for two bed apartments, and very few available. If we all pull together, we may even be able to save some of the poor agents and developers, lawyers etc, who have had it so hard recently.

    Thanks again for pointing me in the right direction. Let’s build for our childrens future!!

  • #85510
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    si senor goodstrich. Lets build some more, now in this moment I can see that we can ‘build our way out of recession’

  • #85511
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    ….oh yes, let’s get those envelopes licked, and let’s get those cranes swinging. Together we can rid Spain of all these ‘doom mongers’ and build a concrete foundation for a new generation of fortune seekers who know that justice is just a seven letter word for wimps!

    muchas gracias.

  • #85512
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Goodstich

    I’ve been giving this a lot of thought over the weekend and feel Kingy has given us such a good opportunity, I wonder if you would you be interested in joining a syndicate I’ve got going with me and my neighbours?

    They are all excited by this development after reading Kingy’s posts and are grateful for this wonderful opportunity to not only invest their ‘pension pot’ but to help Spain get back on its feet. They also love the idea of not having to hire a lawyer and think this is a great money-saver. Between us we could buy a dozen, and we’ve worked out that if we only use the appt’s for three weeks a year, the other 49 weeks could be rented out and we’d all make lots of money. Even enough to put down more deposits the following year if there are any appts. still available.
    You remember the theory of pyramid-selling? Well this knocks the socks off of that, this is a licence to print money and we can all be the winners! There’s eleven of us so far, would you like to be the 12th?

    What do you think? I really don’t believe we can lose on this one and will surely more than compensate us for all the money we’ve lost in Spain so far. If interested, just send me your deposit cheque for 6000 euros so I can deposit it in a Swiss bank account with all the other deposits I’m collecting.

    Anyone else interested, just send me a pm with your bank details or you can also send me a cheque for 6000 euros – the more the merrier. I would prefer your bank details though.

    By the way, you can trust me with your money – I’ve formed an SL company for this that won’t ever go bust. I promise.

  • #85513
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Kingy – I feel 18% commission for getting you a dozen sales is about fair and hope this is ok with you. Is there any chance I can have my commission in advance? Sorry to ask, but I really need the money for a deposit on a Mercedes CLK350 I’ve had my eye on at a garage down the road. He’ll give me a discount for cash and if I purchase this week, so your prompt attention and bank transfer would be appreciated.

  • #85514
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Charlie

    now come on, be serious for a moment. You don’t WANT that CLK350, you NEED it!

    You will not be taken serious with your syndicate in anything less. I know i would feel more comfortable knowing my money’s going towards you driving a decent set of wheels.

    I must take issue with you though, over the rental period. 49 weeks?, no way!. 47 max, i reckon, or i’m a loser.

    Anyway, count me in, and make it quick. I don’t want to be unlucky 13!

    The 6000 euro cheque is on it’s way. I thought to be on the safe side, it would be easier to give you my bank account details and credit card details. If you still have any problems i’ll send you the deeds to my house. You can wave that in their face. That will teach them!!

    thanks again for this wonderful chance to ‘get it right’ I won’t forget what you have done for me for a long while.

  • #85515
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Kingy Property Developments. New Purchase Schemes For Pensioners.

    Amigo’s. I have a fantastic news from our head office in Nigeria. Due to remarkable success of our apartment development we offer new ways to afford your dream. We have been overwhelmed with interest, so the development is being extended by several hundred metre. Don’t worry, the view is not spoiled. This will have a slight delay in project, but do not worry, a few weeks no more (at this stage).

    Anyhows, our finance chief in Lagos can use your pension capital to finance your purchase. You can’t lose. And the money spare pension cash (if there is any when we have taken our commissions) can be sent to your bank account. Our studies say many pensioners don’t need their pension fund, what they need is a dream lifestyle in the sun. This is our offer to you, in return for your pension fund you can taste the especial dream. We start with your bank details, we register this in the head office then we can start to take the deposits. In this way the deal is guaranteed.

  • #85516
    Profile photo of Fuengi (Andrew)
    Fuengi (Andrew)
    Participant

    I’m still not sure….

    Has Ian Botham or any other famous person endorsed your promotion yet?

  • #85517
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Amigo’s, ever since I saw her on celebrity big brother i have been smitten with this claire sweeney. We are thinking of using her to endorse this remarkable new development. Maybe the footballer that Polaris world used, maybe we could use him. Polaris world is the type of company that we are wanting to be like.

    Now I go to Lagos for a shortwhile to discuss a new 5* holiday complex. Here the potential for profit is incredible as we have even less legal problemos to deal with. I can certainly take cash deposits for 5*, 3 bed apartments in private complex (actual location is still not clear yet). Expected cost is €150,000. When they are finished you can say they will be worth double this, it incredible. Send 10% deposit to our head office in Lagos to avoid disappointment. It is an incredible.

  • #85518
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Kingy there will of course be a Bank Guarantee, won’t there? I mean it is the Law to have one once the deposit/s have been handed over. Oh, one more thing. Can you assure me that the deposit will be held in a client account and not handed over to the developer? Having been conned once, I don’t want it to happen again.
    If I can’t trust you, then I’ll join Charlies syndicate and I’ll send her the details of my housekeeping account. It’ll have to wait a few days though as I’ve run out of money as it’s the end of the month!

  • #85519
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    kingy

    this is spooky. I’m also dealing with a chap from Nigeria. Very noble he is to. All i’ve had to do is put £5,000 in to a bank account, and Prince bongawongboo the third of wombooland is going to go halves with me on his vast fortune, left to him by his rich uncle. Being a simple tribesman, he has no other way of turning his wealth in to usable cash. I feel really guilty, but if i didn’t take advantage someone else would!

    How lucky am i eh. Soon as his wealth starts flooding in to the account’ i’ll transfer it to you. I must be dreaming!

  • #85520
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Goodstitch…it’s a scam 😯 I can’t believe you’d be taken in by something like that!! :roll: I think you’ve seen the last of your £5000. Kingy’s a much safer bet.

  • #85521
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Goodstich – too damn right I need the CLK350 – some wretched bird did a poo on my landcruiser and it wont come off.

    So – Head Office in Nigeria no less, how impressive is THAT! Didn’t know he had gone ‘international’, must tell the neighbours.

    I’ve told Kingy not to worry about translating the Spanish contracts for us as it’s obvious we can trust him, what with being international and all that. However if there are any queries, a Greek goat farmer down the road says he knows a bit of Spanish. Apparently he has the complete collection of Julio Iglesias records and knows all the words by heart. Pretty impressive, eh!

    This guy is also the local lawyer for our village so he will be keeping an eye on things for us. It’s unfortunate he doesn’t know how to read but his wife Dimitria does so that’s alright. She’s a smashing sort and makes a marvelous mousaka so rest assured we’re in good hands. I thought this would just give us that little bit of reassurance in case of any illegal clauses. If there are any, am sure Yannis will find them – he certainly knows how to find his goats when they go walkabout! Ha, just my little joke goodstich – I’m in such a good mood thinking of all the money we’re going to make.

    Haven’t heard back from Kingy yet. He’s not answering my e-mails and I’ve tried telephoning his office dozens of times but his secretary always says he’s either out or in a meeting. Still, she’s promised to give him the message that I’ve telephoned so I know he’ll be calling me back soon. I wanted a copy of the contract but apparently they have a problem with their fax machine at the moment. They hope to get it fixed next month.

  • #85523
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Charlie, don’t you think you ought to share the commission with me? After all we’ve been “partners” in our fight for justice for several years now. I could also do with a new car. I sat in a new Jag on Saturday at the Navy Day in Portsmouth and I really liked it. My BMW doesn’t match my shoes or bags anymore and the Jag is silver so it goes with my new Chanel bag and Jimmy Choo shoes. It costs around £74,000. If you ask Kingy for a round figure of say 20% commission, I’m sure it’ll work well for both of us. Whadyathink? 😀

  • #85526
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Claire

    oh no, you mean prince bongawongboo is a fraud! I’ve a good mind to contact the office of fair trading, and put in a very angry complaint.

    I’ll stick with kingy’s deals in future. I know where i am, and what a bargain!

  • #85532
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    amigos, i get the feeling that my generous offer is not being given the gravitas it derserves. Should I go to the wretched germans with my offers instead ? In order to keep this typically spanish development toally british I need all your money transferred to lagos immediately. In this way I can get my next bonus. By the way, we have a few minor technical problems with the planning permissions. But build and be damned as we say.

    manana manana. Sorry the fax machine is not working or the internet, it is typical problem of telefonica espana. everything is guarantee, send me your money

  • #85537
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    kingy

    i would like to apologise on behalf of all your UK buyers, who are causing you problems. Planning permission huh!, what does that mean? It’s like LFO’s and BG’s. Just another way of stopping progress in a hungry market place. As for telefonica espana, well they are just not helping you are they. We realise you are very busy working on our behalf, and you still have to deal with the money we all sending.

    Please don’t go to the Germans. You know what they are like, they will want everything done properly and by the book. They will probably research on the net and find loads of ‘doom mongers’ doubting the honesty of some people in the Spanish property market. They might even question some lawyers decisions, how rude is that?

    Lets build, the only way is up!

  • #85543
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    @Claire wrote:

    Charlie, don’t you think you ought to share the commission with me?

    Sorry Claire. On the basis of the success of my syndicate, I’ve upgraded the Merc. to have four instead of the basic two cup holders. It all costs you know.
    Luckily I don’t have to worry about Jimmy Choo’s here, we all live in flip flops – despite not being allowed in a Spanish Town Hall with them on. But who gives a “flip flop”?

    I’m still waiting for my commission from Kingy – I’m beginning to have doubts now. His website has disappeared, and his secretary sounds like she’s been crying everytime I ring.
    He has sent me though a lovely glossy brochure (artist’s impression) on the development, plus a photo of the model he has in his office. It looks FAB, but strangely like the model I’ve seen in another brochure for a different development. Shame about the Russian/Chinese text though – it’s all beyond Yannis, but he is checking with his Julio Inglesias records just in case.

  • #85544
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Yannis thinks he’s getting somewhere with the Russian text in the brochure.
    He went to the local internet cafe and with Dimitra’s help googled-translated ‘Amor’ and has come up with любовь.
    He thinks he’s onto something, and they’re scanning the brochure as I write.
    Goodstich – with help like this on our side, no-one can pull the wool over our eyes!

  • #85545
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    charlie

    good news then, a fine glossy brochure. That should quieten the doubtors! Being in Russian, just confirms what i thought, he really is global, and nothing is beyong his reach. Amazing.

    i do note some negativity in your post though, why so i wonder? Artist impressions look much the same the world over. I daresay the site has crashed. To many people on to a good thing?

    Good to see you using the services of Julio Inglesias. A fine company, and i think the son’s recently had success as well. Good to have another name we can trust.

    in the words of Queen …..’don’t stop me now’

  • #85547
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Goodstich – Your 6000 euros arrived safely, thank you very much – it’s on its way now to my Swiss bank account where it will be ‘safe as houses’. And don’t worry, it’s not the UBS – I keep abreast of all the news re. dodgy banks ‘cos I read the Daily Mail. I would issue you a receipt but my pen’s run out of ink – hope to buy a new one next month.

    Don’t worry about a thing, we know wheels turn slowly in Spain and I have total faith in Kingy. He just seems so nice, I feel like he is my best amigo already. I feel so sorry for his secretary though, she must be having some dreadfully sad personal problems.

    I would like to ask Kingy about the possibility of a Bank Guarantee but don’t want to offend him. Do you think he’ll be upset if I ask? I don’t want him to think we’re questioning his honesty or anything like that (you know how we British are), and we are probably such small-fry for such a big businessman. Certainly don’t want to bog him down unnecessarily with such small matters.
    There is something in the brochure that mentions “Prince Bongawongboo’s Bank of Nigeria” – maybe that’s the bank that issues them?

    The syndicate is growing and I’m now offering one of Dimitra’s mousakas free with every purchase – I knew I would be good at this marketing malarky. Would send you one but have run out of tin foil containers. Will buy some more next month.

    In the words of Abba…..’Money, money, money’ – just click on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o16uVon2NRQ and sing out loud – our dreams will come true soon, I’m sure of it.
    P.S. It’s a good job I’m honest, I have enough deposits already to buy the Merc outright, but of course I won’t. I always put the interests of my investors first.

  • #85552
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    charlie

    phew what a relief!. I was a little concerned my cheque might fall in to the wrong hands. It will be good to see it gone from my bank account. I don’t trust banks.

    kingy’s so humble. Why does he bother with us? Must see us as ‘pretty sharp’ i would think? You know what they say ‘ takes one to know one’

    that’s very decent of you, not buying the new wheels. Be careful though, some might see you as a soft touch. Got to keep our hard edge. No flys on us.

    Don’t worry about the BG. If the prince is involved, we are talking serious funds. Another busy man, but will hear from him soon. The money i put in to start the account he’s depositing in to has gone. A bit strange, but good to see wheels in motion. Can’t expect him to work for nothing. Pay peanuts, get monkees!

    Money Money Money eh’. A winner knows a winner!………lets build.

  • #85555
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    yes the webiste has crashed due to overwhelming interest, at the moment I am holding off the german investors as an especial favour for my british investors, so keep sending me the cheques. All the commissions for my new agents are being sent from our head office, so be patient a little more. Manana.

    Anyways, the artist impressions are all we have now due to some technicalities with the planning permission. None the less we laid the foundations and are going ahead with some buildings. For now the council is not stopping us but the builder is complaining he needs more money all the time. Your cash is not in client deposit accounts by the way, but no worry, all is well.

    My secretary has become upset after a passionate fling with me which she is unable to forget. I told her to fix the fax

  • #85561
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Sorry Claire. On the basis of the success of my syndicate, I’ve upgraded the Merc. to have four instead of the basic two cup holders. It all costs you know.

    You’ll be sorry Charlie!! I’ve just sent you an invitation to a B-B-Q at my new pad. Bet you can’t make it! 😉

  • #85563
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    My secretary has become upset after a passionate fling with me which she is unable to forget.

    Oh! Oh! I can see a maintenance charge coming on here!

  • #85564
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Hi Mark
    You posted.
    They have never asked to advertise here, but if they did I would say no.

    I guess it is possible that they appeared in one of the Google ads, but I have never spotted one. Were I to do so, I would then block that URL from using Google to advertise here.

    Mark
    _________________
    Spanish Property Insight

    Now perhaps there is something wrong with my computer but who is it thats advertising at the bottom of every thread 😯
    Seems they dont need to ask.

    Just Frank 8)

  • #85566
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    @Just Frank wrote:

    Now perhaps there is something wrong with my computer but who is it thats advertising at the bottom of every thread 😯

    C’mon Sweetpea, concentrate. You’ve posted on the wrong thread.

    Bless. :roll:

  • #85567
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Charlie 😆
    Cross my fingers hope to die that said company logo banner was on the bottom of S.P.I threads this morning until I made that posting.
    I am not mad 😯 ( well some say I am) :roll:
    Not been on the sherry 😕
    Have been taking my tablets.

    Think someone may have been proving a point regarding beieng allowed to advertise here. 😉

    Just Frank 8)

  • #85568
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    frank, it seems (with your current level of confusion) that you would be an ideal candidate for my property development. Just send a cheque for €6000 to me and we will sort out these nasty adverts that are upsetting you

  • #85569
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Kingy
    In the post.
    Managed to save enough to enable me to print the evidence off so if anyone has a fax ?
    Managed also to save in my documents however it wont allow me to copy and paste either.
    If I forward as an email the said company logo vanishes ?

    Just Frank 8)

  • #85570
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Don’t worry about it Frank. 😉 The ads change all the time!

  • #85571
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Claire

    it’s white mans magic to be sure. My cars indercators are the same….just go on…..off….on….off.

  • #85572
    Profile photo of katy
    katy
    Spectator

    I think you are all barking mad 😉 I am sticking to purchasing 3 units with MRI in Bulgaria. He has such a cute face on that billboard 🙂

  • #85577
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    @katy wrote:

    I think you are all barking mad 😉

    I’ll tell you what’s barking mad.
    One thousand seven hundred and thirty hits on this thread.

  • #85578
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    katy

    sounds like another steal to me, and real competition for kingy’s offer. Be careful though, unlikely though it is, that smile could just be hiding someone who is not 100% trustworthy?. (sorry for being so cynical) I may be over cautious, but i would only put my deposit down on two units before i’ve seen the glossy brochure, and just hope they don’t sell out to quickly. They don’t even like us talking about them on here, how confident is that, that we just know their angle!……Lets build.

  • #85579
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Katy, if you’re interested in Bulgaria I can get you a great discount at Martinsa Fadesa’s new ‘Modera Residence’ residential complex in Sofia.

    Why? Because due to the success of my syndicate, as of yesterday I’m now a REA and financial advisor. And lucky you, my first business coup by sheer coincidence is to secure the sole agency for this development. It’s a very exciting opportunity for my first venture, and all apparently for just a brown envelope. Seems a bit barmy to me, but nevertheless they seemed a nice bunch of lads so I’ve popped a whole packet of them in the post today. Don’t want them to think I’m stingy.

    For your total peace of mind please note I am now a member of AIPP – love their ‘goodies bag’ – and have an ad. booked in Viva Estates magazine. Surely there is nothing more that could possibly prove my legitimacy in the market place. My new office above Kostas’ Kebab shop will open soon, and the flag poles complete with flags are being erected as I write.

    My financial advice to you is to buy six, flip and become a millionaire in two years, guaranteed. Getting involved with such a big player is so reassuring don’t you agree, no boom and bust with this lot. And as a special offer only to you, my very special amiga Katy, I will waiver my usual 1000 euros advisory fee. Just send me 36,000 euros for your stairway to riches.

    Viva Dinero !

  • #85580
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Oh dear! You’re gonna upset Kingy now, Charlie!

  • #85581
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Claire – it’s a cut-throat world out there and Kingy will appreciate that a little competition is a healthy thing. He’s not even an AIPP member – I checked, so am now worried about his credibility.
    Plus he didn’t send me my commission, so nuts to Kingy.

  • #85589
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    charlie

    phew, you are one tough cookie. Kingy has really got some competition now.

    AIPP pah!, don’t bother. Like LFO’s, BG’S, Planning permission, they are just bits of paper with writing on.

    ignore the doubters, together we can change the way people think about two bed apartments in the middle of nowhere, close to power stations.

    …..lets build.

  • #85605
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    charlie, amiga, why all these commercially orientated posts, they will ban you from these forums.

    Anyways, major problems with my developments. The builder has left because there are no architects plans. The architect has run off with my secretary and my boss in lagos has run off with all your money. I am now thinking of opening a high-class swingers club in torrivieja and am looking for some forward-thinking investors to turn my dream into a spanish reality.

    I am looking for a modest investment, €5000 per investor, and this will give you free admission for the first month (ladies, you can have free membership for 2 months as I fear we will be somewhat short of females).

    Who can be first to sign up for this new deal ? it is an incredible.

  • #85608
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    😆

  • #85611
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Kingy

    well it’s a big idea, and i think you will face stiff competition. You obviously feel like your assets need to grow and you are keen to get your fingers in to lots of pies.

    I feel your 5000e investment is far to modest. I think 15,000 for men, with limited numbers (perhaps 5) would be fair, and free membership for ladies for life. I think young pretty girls 18-30, should be encouraged because young people are our future.

    this is a brave venture, and one i feel i could contribute to, hard though it may be?.

    I’m rather shocked the development idea didn’t work, but you gave it your best shot, and was probably let down by greedy buyers just wanting a fair deal. How stupid is that? They got what they deserved. Mugs!

  • #85612
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Hi Goodstich – Did you read about my new one-stop shop for all property and investment matters? How safe are you in my hands now!

    It’s a shame about poor Kingy’s news, there’s always a sad personal story behind every businessman’s downfall. To show no hard feelings (we property tycoons have to stick together) I’m going to offer him my list of corrupt Spanish judges just in case of any future court cases against him. As Tesco says, every little helps.

    The flags (complete with AIPP logo) are really impressing the socks off all the passing tourists they’re now knocking on my door to give me money. Yannis is now handing out leaflets at the airport offering a kilo of his finest goat ribs free to everyone who visits the office. Has to be a sure-fire winner, they’re scrummy.

    You’re right Goodstich, it’s important not to be seen as a soft touch and appearances are everything. Encouraged by your words and great foresight, this morning I took my first executive decision and temporarily borrowed all your deposits and purchased the Merc.
    Don’t worry, your deposit will be reinstated as soon as Katy’s cheque arrives. Now we don’t have to pay all these deposits to Kingy, there’s no hurry. I will never forget him, he is my business guru and stepping-stone to my new career.

    I realise now juggling the cash flow is the name of the game so hope you don’t mind about the Merc. You can’t make a Spanish omelette without breaking eggs. Trust me.
    Spanish omlette today but Paella tomorrow Goodstich.

    Forget Kingy’s swinger’s club it will never take off. Everyone knows the local mayor would never issue a licence, his own club is so successful why would he want the competiton? I have a great new business plan and you’re included because I never forget my amigos – better look out your house deeds afterall. I’m talking KURZISTAN.

    Do you think we ought to get some t-shirts printed? 😉

  • #85613
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Charlie, I can see there’s going be a national crisis for Greece in the not too distant future………………….no goats left!! 🙁

    Re your newly aquired Merc. I’m soooo happy for you. :roll: (yawn)

    Do you remember a plan we hatched when we were seeking revenge on a certain lawyer of a certain construction company? Well, just watch out it doesn’t come back to bite you in the b**! (I’m sure you wouldn’t cheat on your mugs, ….oops 😳 sorry, clients,though)

    No sour grapes though. I’ll just go and buy new shoes/bags to match my existing car and forget about the new Jag. 🙁

    P.S. Mind your flip-flops don’t get caught around the pedals!

  • #85615
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    amigo’s.

    Plans for a new, truly world class, swingers club are going well. This is why we have picked a world-class venue in torriveija. The local police and justice department have not only approved the plans but have asked for complementary membership. Interestingly so have the local judges.

    Anyway, I thought we should set a new precedent in spain and get the relevant permissions before taking peoples money off them.

    Due to a complete lack of female interest, I am giving away free membership to ladies and a glass of sangria on arrival. Male membershiup is already suspended due to overwhelming demand. Currently the ratio of male to female clients is 1000:1 so we are advertising only for female clients and the male members will have to make do with ‘gay’ evenings for the forseeable future. it is an incredible.

  • #85616
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Kingy, there are many women who (feel that they) have been s*****d by Spanish judges in the past. I’m sure many will jump at the chance of reciprocating the same. 😉 ( 😳 ) An opportunity not to be missed. As you say: “It is an incredible”

  • #85617
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    I am glad you see the positive side of this claire, I will send you a glossy brochure (this alone is worth the €5000) and your membership cards. Indeed, this is a good way to shaft the spanish legal system….. as they have all signed up now.

    Some of them are complaining that it was supposed to be a hetero-club , I told them to read the small print ”if no womens join the club it will instead be a gay swingers club – no refunds”

  • #85618
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    C’mon Goodstitch….sign up. This is an opportunity you just cannot miss!!!
    Be open-minded! 😉

    Don’t worry…..For sure Frank won’t be taking up membership!

  • #85620
    Profile photo of Inez
    Inez
    Participant

    Its a hard one to turn down – thats for sure!! 😯

  • #85621
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Inez…FREE GLASS OF SANGRIA!!! 😀

    (I’m stuck at home waiting for Sky engineer who should have been here two hours ago!..then I’m off to London to see Kylie with my son & daughter and d-in-law…just in case you wondered why I’m idling away my time today!!)

  • #85626
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Claire

    oh go on then, if you insist. ……..I’m in, but i am worried about the Male/Female ratio. As i said, i think there should be high proportion of young pretty ladies, because it’s only fair to give young people a good start in life, and i’m not interested in batting and bowling for the same side!

    Anyway, i feel with this project, the only way is up………Lets build.

  • #85628
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    senor goodstich. I can see you are thinking of investing in this incredible new initiative. As claire and charlie say, you have to forget this male/female ratio problem. Just visit with open mind, think of it as new goodstich dimensions. First night is already arranged with theme ‘gay property developers night’. The tickets sold out in 1 hour. But I have spare tickets for reasonable cost

  • #85633
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Kingy

    thank you for your kind offer of reasonably priced tickets for this fine evening. Much as i would like to broaden my horizons, due to a very heavy work load, i will have to decline your invitation to this event. However, i would like to suggest an alternative themed evening. Have you considered ‘Young Lesbian estate agents wheelbarrow racing’ yet’? We need something to attract ladies, and i think the competitive spirit of female estate agents, would leave them no option but to grab this opportunity with both hands. As i see a reduction in my work load soon, i will be happy to oversee this event, and make sure we don’t get anyone over a certain age, who would not really fit in with the 18-30 age group i have in mind.
    think ‘gay property developers night’ is in danger of being infiltrated by unsavoury characters, such as lawyers, judges, and mayors, and planning officers, posing as property developers? Not a pretty thought, I’m sure you will agree!!

    Have you considered T-Shirt yet? I can supply 10,000 at the very reasonable cost of £5.00 each, complete with slogan of our choice. Charlie has realised the potential with this venture, and i’m sure will be happy to organise shirt sales during the theme evenings.

    Have you got a snappy name yet? How about ‘Alternative Insight for All Sorts ‘ …..or Aifos for short?……..no, forget it. Nobody would buy in to that name!

  • #85635
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    How about ‘Alternative Insight for All Sorts ‘ …..or Aifos for short?……..no, forget it. Nobody would buy in to that name!

    Ingenious! 😀

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