Can we stop the personal abuse

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This topic contains 31 replies, has 16 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Anonymous Anonymous 8 years, 7 months ago.

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  • #53909
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Having been a member for some 2 1/2 years and regularly dipping in and out of the forum, I am sad to note that a number of new members seem to enjoy abusing and slagging off some of our long standing members who happen to have serious problems and serious points of view.

    Can we please return to a sensible, serious, well meaning site with arguements being made without personal abuse.

  • #81911
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Well said Michael521,

    I have been saddened by the amount of abuse recently. I guess the only option is to totally ignore it and don’t react.

  • #81913
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    I second that, irrespective of peoples pains, suffering etc. The matter can be discussed with certain decorum of decency.

  • #81914
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Well said Michael. The forum has lost a lot of better valued posters because of the abuse from, as you say , some newer members being so argumentative, (IMO, just for the sake of it.)

  • #81915
    Profile photo of Inez
    Inez
    Participant

    Totally agre and one of the reasons I am not posting as much – as well as being rather busy at the moment

  • #81917
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Hi
    No matter what the argument there is never a reason to be abusive.
    If you check back through the postings you may find that one or two or more very valued members may have left the forum due to NEGATIVE ONLY POSTINGS which slate Spain at every opportunity and in particular the legal profession that they represent to their best ability.
    If posters are allowed to post without having to take a slating for having views that may not be in agreement with others,it should be understood that it is their views and as long as its genuine it should be welcome.
    What we do then is let them have their say,let them have their argument and then we all agree that the long standing members were right all along πŸ˜† ( just kidding :lol:)
    Perhaps then the hundreds of observers of the forum may then wish to make valued contributions, those that abuse will see that their contributions are not welcome, will get the message and s- πŸ˜• d off πŸ˜• :wink:Whoops.

    Just Frank 8)

  • #81919
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    I’m dedicating all my time to setting up my blog at the moment, but when I had that licked into shape I was going to turn my attention to this problem. As Michael has brought it up, might as well deal with it now.

    Robust debate and difference of opinion is great, and most welcome in this forum. But there is no need to be insulting, which only undermines the position of the person who dishes it out.

    But by the same token, people seem to take offence very easily, which is a waste of emotional energy in an anonymous forum. Enjoy the debate, but don’t take anything to heart, as it ain’t worth it. The fisticuffs often start when someone takes offence at something better addressed with a well argued response, if anything.

    However, we should also welcome people with a different viewpoint to the majority. Sometimes they can be blunt, but their opinions are still valid, even if the majority don’t share them.

    Truth is, if we were all face to face, I’m sure that everyone would be perfectly mannered. I guess a certain amount of β€˜forum rage’ is inevitable, as you can vent your spleen in a forum without the usual social restrictions. In a way that is one of the attractions of a forum, and a little bit of rough and tumble adds to the entertainment. But I think everyone would like to see more civility, more fancy debate, and less playground fights. Also, a bit more about the many wonderful things you can get out of property in Spain (I wouldn’t live or own anywhere else).

    So, everyone on their best behaviour please, courteous and thoughtful. I’ll start deleting any rude posts, unless, of course, they are amusing, superbly delivered, and not too harsh.

    As always, anyone trying to sell something gets booted out without delay.

    Mark

  • #81920
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    I agree that it would be great if you could stop personal abuse, but as one who has been on the receiving end of personal abuse, accusations, etc., please don’t expect me to sit back and take it without retaliating. Come to think of it, I can’t recall using personal abuse. Perhaps it should also be considered the use of bad language, even when words have a few *** amongst the letters.
    I aslo believe that if one makes a comment that some others may not agree with, it is often taken as personal abuse, despite it being fact.

  • #81924
    Profile photo of katy
    katy
    Spectator

    Frank, being negative is not personal abuse! I believe being confrontational is when it happens on most posts also stalking a particular poster if you don’t agree with their point of view. Wouldn’t want to see it get restrained by too much reserve though…shall we all have a group hug.

    PS. the weather is fab. The countryside is lush and full of birds and wild flowers. It can be good when it works out. Lifes a peach πŸ˜€

  • #81926
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Does this forum involve property discussion?.

    I’ve just spent the last couple of days browsing the avforums, http://www.avforums.com , this is an electronics forum tv, video etc, they actually talk about electronics etc. You know whats the latest panasonic tv like etc.

  • #81927
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Hi Katy
    Dont understand this. πŸ˜•
    Frank, being negative is not personal abuse! I believe being confrontational is when it happens on most posts also stalking a particular poster if you don’t agree with their point of view. Wouldn’t want to see it get restrained by too much reserve though…shall we all have a group hug.

    Think that Mark has echoed mine and most others views with regards to abuse and also to an over reliant attitude the negative postings,perhaps you missed it πŸ˜•

    I am game for a hug if you are πŸ™‚ πŸ˜†

    Just Frank 8)

  • #81935
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    …..be quiet poo face.

  • #81936
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    whoops……..just slipped there!

  • #81937
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    I agree. Much better when we all get on.

    Tea anyone? πŸ˜€

  • #81938
    Profile photo of Inez
    Inez
    Participant

    Far too late for tea – coffee and brandy please – Soberano with 1 block of ice…………………………….Thank you……………mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

  • #81939
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    @inez wrote:

    Far too late for tea – coffee and brandy please – Soberano with 1 block of ice…………………………….Thank you……………mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

    Jolly good madam, shall I bring it to your usual seat on the beach? πŸ˜€

  • #81944
    Profile photo of Inez
    Inez
    Participant

    Thank you good man – better make it a double! – save you walking down twice!

    Im the once with my toes in the sea

  • #81952
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Easy to spot then Inez as opposed to the one with their heads in the sand πŸ˜†

  • #82026
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    jiminspain

    at least the agents with their heads in the sand wont have a problem. They can probably drink form the same place they talk!

  • #82028
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† Providing they have a straw! πŸ˜‰

  • #82033
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Claire

    i have a funnel that conects to a five gallon jerry can,….. that’ll do!

  • #82045
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    It is not just this forum that suffers from the personal abuse of posters from others. I for several years contributed to the Polaris World Forum with what I considered to be realistic contributions having removed the rose tinted glasses that many seem to wear. However, others considered my posts as negative which is fine but then resorted to personal abuse. I did try to respond with what I considered reasoned arguments but that just made matters worse. Consequently I became known as “Neg Kev” and I stopped posting for over 12 months. As soon as I posted again, the “Neg Kev” stuff started even though the post was ever so slightly positive.

    So now I doubt if I will ever post on PW Forum again (is that a resounding cheer I hear from down PW way). I don’t even get any satisfaction that many of my “negative” posts have proved to be true (capital values, rental rates, poor investment returns etc.)

    “Neg Kev” (now retired from PW Forum)

  • #82050
    Profile photo of katy
    katy
    Spectator

    Yes, I know what you mean! I have also been criticised on another forum for things I have posted on here πŸ™„

  • #82051
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Hi Neg Kev πŸ˜†
    Thats the problem with forums at times.
    Once you have yer handle then some just wont let go and even try to see the other side of you.
    Often is the main cause of much of the abuse as frustration sets in from both sides when its a simply a fact that we each have a brain and opinions that we do not have to agree on.
    Some clearly wish to protect their investments and some use the forums as a way of venting frustrations.
    As we /they are not talking about minor issues in property the emotions are bound to run high at times and get personal (in some way as long as its within a reasonble percentage of the forum perhaps its no bad thing)
    Perhaps we should all take a breath at times as its so easy to hit that send button and not let it get to personal.

    Just Frank 8)

  • #82069
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    kpw4v

    so true, i’ve also been called negative, or a ‘doommonger’ (even by one on this thread) as have several people on here who just call a spade a spade. As you say, our negative opinions have come true, but of course that will be forgotton now. Thankfully there are enough people on this forum, seeing things as they are, to overshadow those talking thing up for whatever reason, or trying to bring ‘ balance’ in areas where there is clearly none.

  • #82125
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    I always found it slightly odd that someone who has no interest in polaris would have the need to keep returning to what many feel is an owners forum, often start by saying how he had considered buying but pulled out at the last moment as ‘it didn’t stack up’ and go on to tell everyone they were wearing rose tinted glasses.
    I think it fair to say that all sorts got caught out in the Spanish property slump, lot of people suffering right now, must be very hard to stay positive when someone (who often came across as gloating for having dodged the bullet) keeps returning to stress his negative opinions.

    Had I been in the same position as some owners, struggling with rentals in order to pay the mortgage, looking for constructive advice but instead confronted with someone who keeps telling me I’m wearing rose tinted glasses, I would have came up with something a bit spicier than neg kev.

  • #82127
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    @kw wrote:

    I always found it slightly odd that someone who has no interest in polaris would have the need to keep returning to what many feel is an owners forum, often start by saying how he had considered buying but pulled out at the last moment as ‘it didn’t stack up’ and go on to tell everyone they were wearing rose tinted glasses.
    I think it fair to say that all sorts got caught out in the Spanish property slump, lot of people suffering right now, must be very hard to stay positive when someone (who often came across as gloating for having dodged the bullet) keeps returning to stress his negative opinions.

    Had I been in the same position as some owners, struggling with rentals in order to pay the mortgage, looking for constructive advice but instead confronted with someone who keeps telling me I’m wearing rose tinted glasses, I would have came up with something a bit spicier than neg kev.

    Well perhaps you ought to check out my last post on the PW Forum. I wrote the post from the viewpoint of a potential renter, which for people who are struggling to rent may have seen as constructive points (some in fact did).

    For all my other “negative” posts, I have never knowingly gloated about, but if anybody took my posts as gloating then I apologise as it was never intended that way.

    I posted on PW Forum, and on here as somebody who very nearly (twice) got suckered into buying by at the time believing all the hype and lies from unscrupulous agents. I was lucky both times to escape with my deposits intact. Hopefully, mine and other peoples “negative” posts provide some balance to enable prospective purchasers to make an informed decision. Ultimately any forum has to encourage such balance to be of value and therefore open honest debate and opinions should not be discouraged through personal abuse.

    Kevin

  • #82129
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    kpw4v

    I wasn’t knocking your good intentions, but as you had mentioned on a few occasions on this forum your having been given the nickname ‘neg kev’ I thought some might like to hear the other side of the story.

    And to be honest, Its a bit of a stretch for me to look on someone as having been suffering from personal abuse by being given the label of ‘neg kev.’
    You might like to take some comfort in knowing that I have been called much worse on and off the polaris forum, and I am an owner.

  • #82130
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    I’ve been called ‘a narrow minded short ar**d idiot with about as much intelligence as Noddy’s big toe and about as much use as a chocolate fire-guard’! πŸ™

    And that’s from my wife……….

    (perhaps she’s right 😯 )

  • #82136
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    @kw wrote:

    kpw4v

    I wasn’t knocking your good intentions, but as you had mentioned on a few occasions on this forum your having been given the nickname ‘neg kev’ I thought some might like to hear the other side of the story.

    And to be honest, Its a bit of a stretch for me to look on someone as having been suffering from personal abuse by being given the label of ‘neg kev.’
    You might like to take some comfort in knowing that I have been called much worse on and off the polaris forum, and I am an owner.

    Fair enough. The “NegKev” moniker does not bother me, but some of the posts did sometimes go a bit too far

  • #82151
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    Anonymous
    Participant

    maximus

    ……that’s out of order being called short!

  • #82152
    Profile photo of Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Exactly, she should have said “vertically-challenged”.
    Disgraceful abuse. πŸ™

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